So yesterday was my "pre-surgery orientation" or last mandatory class before surgery on Monday. I received a lovely blue leather binder with all the information I will need to basically help me adapt to my new lifestyle for the rest of my life, as well as a small quick reference guide to keep in my purse to help with the daily choices I need to make from now on. I also had 4 vials of blood drawn and paid my $18,475 (split between the surgeon and the hospital). I think this is a new personal spending record for me in one day!!! (Erwin tells me I'm expensive, but this is really an investment in our family's future.) I expected them to weigh me, but I guess that will happen just before surgery on Monday. I was all excited for that (for a change), because I had reached the weight loss goal I had set for myself before surgery (down 20 pounds in under 3 weeks). I already feel so much better! As of this morning, I have even lost another pound. Who knows what my final weigh-in will be after I have to drink my magnesium citrate tomorrow night, which will basically "roto rooter" my whole system...
A lot of people have been asking if I'm getting nervous. The truth is that I've tried to make myself numb to those feelings so I don't dwell on them too much. I'm just keeping busy, checking off my "to do" list and trying to stay focused. My younger brother Dan (who had his surgery in January and is already down 150 lbs) told me that around Saturday or Sunday I would start getting cold feet and questioning my decision. If this happens, I will be on the phone to him for emotional support, because there is no way I'm changing my mind. I need this tool in order to become the healthy person I want to be, no matter what the personal sacrifices along the way might be.
I fully expect to have some pain, some emotional struggles, and some major lifestyle adjustments - that's just part of the package - but I'm ready. Having had an emergency surgery to remove my gallbladder in February, I have a pretty good idea of what my recovery will be like, since that was laparoscopic as well. I have 4 tiny little incision scars from that, and will add 6 more with this surgery, so I'll get to play "connect the dots" pretty soon! The worst part of it was the pressure from all the gas they pump into your abdomen to make getting around in there easier for the surgeon. I walked around as much as I could, but no matter what I did, the pressure wouldn't go away. Finally, I called the nurse's station at the hospital and asked if there was anything else I could do before coming back to emergency, because the pain from that gas pressure was unbearable. They asked if I had tried putting a heating pad over my stomach, but nobody had told me about that... It worked like a charm! I guess knowing all of this, I haven't been as nervous as I might have been otherwise.
I come from a religious family, and will receive a blessing tomorrow evening from my Uncle Matt, Uncle Ray, and my husband Erwin. I appreciate that my faith and preparation will carry me through this change in my life, and I am confident in my doctor's abilities and my own personal and emotional preparation. I will also be well cared for by family and friends - I just need to let them know what I need, and they'll be there for me.
I will probably post one more entry tomorrow night, just to record how I'm feeling. I think using this site (www.obesityhelp.com) has been such a wonderful tool for me emotionally, and I will be grateful if I can help even one more person besides myself along the way.
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